As I sit in my quiet, still-messy-from-the-chaos-of-this-week house, I’m thinking about how blessed and how absolutely in love with life I feel… This is the first time in eight Christmases since my daughter was born that my children will not be with me overnight on Christmas Eve. They will not wake up with me on Christmas morning to see what Santa has brought, to share in the wonder and awe of the spirit and mystery that is Christmas. I am feeling a mixed-bag of emotions. On the one hand, I am somewhat relieved that I get a quiet house for a few days, but on the other hand, I feel a little bit sad to not have my babies with me.
Adjusting to our new life since divorce has been a bumpy road, one riddled with twists and turns that have brought many fears to the surface, and have rewarded us with a bounty of blessings that brings tears of gratitude to my eyes. With the sadness of a mother who never wants to be separated from her children, but the love and compassion of a woman who wants the best for everyone, I share my gratitude and love with you this Holiday season while my children enjoy Christmas with their father, and I reflect…
I am grateful for….
- my life
- my children
- my home
- my family – mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and nieces and nephews
- my career and growing business
- abundance – we have everything we need and a lot of what we want
- my TRIBE, my beautiful soul sisters and soul brothers near and far, who support, love and cheer us on
- foibles and mistakes
- sadness-turned-wonder and gratitude
- discomfort-turned-comfort and true happiness
I would like to share this poem by Khalil Gibran:
“When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”
I invite you to open your heart to loving yourself, to enjoying the holiday season, and allowing yourself to experience the simple pleasures in life – a smile; a laugh; tears of joy or sorrow; a hug.
May you love yourself and share that love with others this season of light, and all year.
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.