On Selecting Your TRIBE: Creating a network of support

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

We are born or adopted into a family, and we do not choose that family, for better or for worse. We do, however, subsequently surround ourselves with people we choose – our TRIBE. We have all heard the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I believe this to be true. I also believe it takes something more specific and specialized than a village to raise a person to his or her greatness; it takes a TRIBE. We attract, assemble and nurture this TRIBE and it lifts us up, guides us, carries, pushes or pulls us as necessary. Even more important, our TRIBE creates a safe environment for self-empowerment. My TRIBE has lifted me up more than once, continues to support me, and continues to grow.

A healthy TRIBE has one very clear understanding: no judgement. The tribal mentality is one of love, support, acceptance, empowerment, growth, celebration and becoming our highest selves – individually, and as a TRIBE. Together we overcome many obstacles. We push, pull or coax one another into the next phase (when assistance is needed and sought); we till soil, plant seeds, fertilize, water and tend a glorious spring harvest of ideas, new thought patterns and personal growth – yielding brighter, funnier, happier, sexier people. Who doesn’t want to be all of those things?

On selecting your TRIBE.

Choose wisely. My parents used to tell me and my sister to choose friends wisely; that water seeks its own level. As a rebellious teenager, I was resistant to this message, but as an adult, those words ring true for me. If water seeks its own level and if the caliber of our friends is lower than what we would like, then we are either projecting something other than our values or it is time to take an honest inventory of where we are, our thoughts, and what we accept.

Are you walking your talk? More importantly, what are you tolerating? Do you have friends who drain you emotionally? Do you avoid returning correspondence with certain friends because of this drain? Does the thought of spending time with this friend light you up or dim the light? Remember YOU are in-charge of your energy, you choose if you want the drain plugged or un-plugged. You decide how to spend your time and energy. Are you spending wisely?

Do you think nice things about yourself? Do you catch yourself making self-deprecating remarks, even if “just kidding”? What thoughts run thru your mind when you look in the mirror? Do you feel jealous of other people? Do you find yourself judging others? Chances are, if you do even a little of this AND you experience draining relationships, it is time to push your re-set button.

If water seeks its own level and we want healthy tribal relationships, then we must first get right with ourselves and be healthy in all aspects of our lives. Take good care of your physical, emotional and spiritual health. Nourish your body with high-quality foods, maintain proper hydration, get enough sleep, be kind to yourself, and make sure you carve-out “me” time every day, even if for a few minutes to check-in.

Once you are right with yourself, you automatically become more attractive and the right kind of people are drawn to you. If you do not believe me, try this: recite an empowering, positive affirmation about yourself five times before you leave your house, let it sink-in, and watch how people respond to you. Wear your favorite color, allow yourself to feel great wearing it, and let that shine. Walk slowly and take notice of people taking notice of you; they will be drawn to that “je ne sais quoi,” that “something special” they see in you.

Know when to reach out. There are times in life when we really need someone to be there for us. We might need a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on or simply to know that someone is thinking of us. It takes courage and strength to ask for help. We have been conditioned to be independent and we have taken it to the extreme, somehow thinking that it is “bad” or “weak” to need help, let alone ask for it. Asking for support is one of the most graceful forms of strength.

Know when to step back. You may encounter situations when you need to step back from your friends or family because you need to take a part of the journey on your own. Just as we need to know when to ask for help, we also need to know when to give it a go on our own, knowing that our friends, family and loved ones will always be there for us.

You may also find times when a loved one is slipping into a pattern of neediness or negativity that is unhealthy for you. This is a time to love yourself enough to put the plug in the drain and conserve your energy for yourself. This act of love not only serves you, but it also serves the other party and those who depend upon you. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is “tough love” in the form of loving space. Knowing your limits and lovingly respecting your own boundaries is of vital importance to your overall health and that of the TRIBE.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

Practice compassion. When we first practice compassion with ourselves, we are better equipped to have patience, understanding and respect for ourselves and others. Be kind to yourself, say nice things to yourself, think pleasant thoughts about yourself; share those thoughts with your energy, heart and words.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

About powerstrengthgrace

I lay out my intention for this blog: to share my experiences with others and direct my clients here for their personal growth. I hope to show the reader that one can be mindful without having to go to extremes. Balance and simplicity are key, and I have learned that valuable lesson time and again. About me: First, I am a mother. Secondary, but also very important: entrepreneur, fitness professional, business woman, writer, public speaker. I live in the DC metropolitan area and have created a fulfilling life for myself and my children. My career path has been interesting and varied. I have worked in research & management for a telecoms association, managed health clubs, consulted on housing market development in third world nations, and finally, have become self-employed in corporate wellness and private lifestyle management coaching. I hope that you take something with you every time you visit, and I thank you for sharing with friends, co-workers and family members.
This entry was posted in Abundance, Alone Time, Attraction, Celebration, Closure, Comfort Zone, Conflict, Core Belief, Determination, Empowerment, Encouragement, Energy, Exercise, family, fitness, Forgiveness, Friends, Girlfriends, Gratitude, Help, Infidelity, Inspiration, Integrity, Jobs, Law of Attraction, life coaching, lifestyle management, Listening, Love, Luck, Manifestation, Marriage, meditation, energy, chanting, workout,, Metaphysics, Money Management, Motivation, natural medicine, New Beginnings, Passion, Patience, Peace, personal growth, Physical Exercise, Pleasure, Power of Receiving, Power of Words, Procrastination, Relationships, relaxation, Respect, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Smile, Spirit of a woman, spirituality, Stress, The Four Agreements, Think Big, Truth, Uncategorized, Visualization, Weight Loss, women, Yoga. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to On Selecting Your TRIBE: Creating a network of support

  1. Lovely post, thanks for sharing.

  2. Wonderful empowering blog my friend Tracy…….you made some amazing points and I’m with you all the way….accountability, responsibility and setting healthy boundaries…

    In love and light,

  3. Thank you, Nancy! Yes, yes yes!!! Life is so much easier when we know what we want, show up with our best goodies, made with love.

    Have a wonderful evening! xoxo

  4. Never underestimate the value of a steady support network friends and family that are there for you, through it all.

    • You said it, Stephanie! It’s so true! We draw to ourselves exactly what we need, in exactly the right moment. Thank goodness for our friends and family who are beside us in the moments when we need them most, and in times when we didn’t realize we needed them. What a gift to return that beauty to our friends and family as well.

      Many holiday blessings to you and your TRIBE!!!


  5. l0ve0utl0ud says:

    Very interesting post, especially the questions you ask about friends/energy/self-esteem. It has got me thinking about the people in my life and the changes I need to make.

    • Thank you so much for visiting! Please feel free to ask any questions you might have, and if you prefer to do so privately, you can reach-out to me via private message on Facebook (Tracy L. Cherpeski)

      Thinking about our self-esteem…. Think of self-esteem as having faith in yourself. Challenging yourself and rising to the challenge, rinse, repeat. 🙂

      When you begin to do that the rest will start to naturally sort itself out. You will have less time for draining relationships, your tolerance for negativity and drama will lower, and you will naturally raise your tolerance for beauty, happiness and joy, which leaves very little room for the other stuff that does not contribute to your overall wellbeing.

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